Fort Charles

I thought I wanted to be a good cook.  But I don't think I really care about the cook-er part as much.  No, I have much loftier dreams for my place in the kitchen. I aspire to have the best recipes in the world.  Not possible, I know, but this is one of my many life's pursuits ... that I take too seriously.

First I find a recipe with potential and recruit it into my collection with false advertising and bogus promises.  The recipe spends several weeks in basic training where I break it's will by running it through a course of humiliation and impossible expectations. Then I whip it back into shape with hours of drills, marching, and ridiculous punishments.  The recipe will also be able to memorize and recite on the spot core values of the Constitution of Good Recipes.  When I feel the recipe has passed the pre-test, it will bunk with the other recipes and wait.  When the recipe is called into the next phase,  the recipe will prove it's physical aptitude by producing a wonderful (or not so wonderful) meal.  If it passes this final test, the recipe is added to the notebook with honors.  If not, it will learn to do better by running through another course of grueling, unreasonable and futile punishments until it becomes a piece of dependable, reliable machinery.

Hoo-rah!